Vacation Hard! Episode 12: "O! say does that Star-Spangled Banner yet wave...."
We finish up breakfast and go topside, making our way out to the street where the Grey Line bus tour would be by any minute. They do a "hop on, hop off" style tour with the double decker buses that stop at 20 minute intervals at each station which makes for an awesome way to see D.C. in a short amount of time. Being a total 8 year old, I have to be on the top deck when the bus gets moving, but quickly learn that being a tall person on the top deck isn't all it's cut out to be after I got hit in the face with a tree branch for the third time while trying to take pictures. The Marx Brothers and Three Stooges made a fortune off of comedy like that. For me, it's just another 'vacation'.
We had decided to stay on the bus the entire tour and get off at the National Museum of American History. Being the history lover I am, I thought I was ready.........then I walked in and nerded all over the floor.
Reader......this is something that you really have to see for yourself. The Smithsonian Institution is amazing and we, as United States citizens, reap the benefit of it's awesomeness. These buildings (the main buildings surround the National Mall in D.C.) house some of the most amazing stuff. Some of the stuff you can see at the National Museum of American History include personal belongings of many U.S. presidents including George Washington's sword, Abe Linclon's hat, and inagural gowns of the first ladies, the original Muppets, Archie Bunker's chair, Eddie Van Halen's original "Frankenstrat", Stratavarius instruments, parts of the Berlin Wall and the World Trade Center.
Part of the Berlin wall. |
It's time to play the music.......it's time to light the lights......it's time to meet the Muppets...... |
ARRRRCHIE!
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And the most amazing thing ever: the actual American flag that flew during the Battle of Baltimore in the war of 1812. The one that Fracis Scott Key wrote about in his poem "Defence of Fort McHenry" which would later be known as "The Star-Spangled Banner" and become our national anthem. Go see that in person and see if it doesn't nudge your patriot button just a little. It's very fragile and photosensitive, however, so they don't allow pictures to be taken. I didn't mind because it's not something I will soon forget.
Words can not describe how incredible the Smithsonian Institution is and how much gratitude it deserves. To my American Readers: you owe it to yourself and those who came before you as the builders of our nation to see as much as you can of what the Smithsonian has to offer. I know that may sound a little sappy, but it's the damn truth. To my foreign readers: if you get the chance, please come see our amazingly preserved history, because if I ever get the chance, I'll be nerding out from HERE to HERE to HERE. Believe it.
So we're about to leave the museum and I realize that they have one of the actual C-3P0 suits they used in Star Wars that I'm in dire need of seeing. We go over to one of the info desks and my Dad loudy proclaims: "My son wants to see some Star Wars shit." Shoulda said "My 34 year old man-child can't let go of silly things and get on with his sad life, so he has to see this robot thing he's been nerding about since he was 5."
Let me pause here and harken some of you to some understanding: I know I speak for a great many people when I say Star Wars is in my heart. There are many things that will always be endearing to me, like the "Lisenced to Ill" album by the Beastie Boys (the first record I ever owned) and the old 70's stand-up, Bill Cosby: Himself, which I can recite to you by heart cause I've been watching that shit since I was little...... "WHERE DID THEY GET CHOCOLATE CAKE FROM?!" Freaking classic. I think we actually had Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Bill Cosby: Himself on the same Betamax tape. That's right. I said Betamax.
But Star Wars? I still watch every Yoda scene twice (like when he walked in to save Obi-Wan and Anakin from Count Dooku and all you could see at first was his little shadow limping through the doorway?! LOVE. THAT. SHIT.) Or when, as a child, you find out that Darth Vader is actually Luke Skywalker's father?! Whhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?!
Even if you're not a Star Wars fan, the dynamic between C-3PO and R2-D2 is funny and something that will always be remembered by people who don't get Star Wars. Even Larry remembered one day when I was talking about movies I loved to watch over and over when I was little: "Oh, you mean the movie with the pot belly stove robot?" - Yup. That's the one. R2-D2 was pretty gangsta.
So we get down to the main part of the building and see it and I snap this little gem:
Never let it be said that my Dad didn't care about foolish little things that make a grown ass man-child just a little bit happier.
On the next episode of Vacation Hard!: Where's the beef? It's in my mouth!!!.............whoa.........wait........that's not right.