I'm going to invent a drug called "Head Spank" (gitchoheadritopril). It's going to be a mood stabilizing antidepressant that also cures bi-polar schitzoaffective disorders, alzheimers, gout, and male pattern baldness. Oh, and diarrhea, cause people get confused when they have diarrhea.....you think you can get away with a fart, but you shat yourself and ruined a good pair of scrub pants that actually had to be thrown away....not that it happened.....I'm just saying....you have to be careful with that sort of thing.
Also on the market will be my new super water drink called "H2O'right!". 20 ounces of this water will be the equvilant of actually drinking 2 liters of water, having 2 cups of coffee, 4 cigarettes, 0.5mg of Xanax, and a bar of quality chocolate. You will buy them in packs of 6 and only one bottle is the "special" bottle which also contains enough endorphins to simulate a very intense orgasm. So you totally couldn't drink all the bottles at once to try to get to the special bottle cause you would totally go into congestive heart failure and die......it's a suprise every time!! People would love me and praise me all the days. And I would be ballin' rich so I would also have to invent a hoochie repelant spray, but that's a whole other thing....
Don't steal my ideas you buncha punk asses.
-Dan
