First a gentle reminder. If you experience any of the following:
Easily hurt and/or compromised feelings
Extreme religious and/or political opinions and mentality
Diarrhea of the mouth while suffering the above afflictions
Please do not read my blog.
If you have an aversion to cursing, violence, sex, destruction of property, having a sense of humor, or Article 19 of The Universal Declaration of Human Rights please do not read my blog.
If you dislike or have difficulty understanding satire/sarcasm, just don't even bother. Nobody likes you anyway.
Awesome blog reading discretion has been advised. Don't be mad, Boo.
October 4th, 2008
1. How long do you spend in the shower?
Just till your Mom gets done washing my back
2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform?
A rolled up sock near his kibbles & bits....he wouldn't want the ladies thinkin' his junk ain't big cause of the 'roids, now would they?
3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield.
Dead people.
4. Name something a man might buy before a date.
Flowers if you know she's pretty and nice.
Mace if she's a psychopathic bitch who only wants you for your penis and/or money.
Effervesent tablets if she's nice but not pretty (or vice versa) so you can fake a seizure by putting one in your mouth, thus escaping the date.
5. What's another word for blemish?
"What the FUCK is that thing on your face? You got the plague or something?"
6. Something you'd cook in the microwave.
Kittens
7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving.
"The Rack". Don't ask what it's for, just help me move the fucker.
8. Name a reason a younger man might like an older women?
Inheritance.
9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner.
Why do people even own dogs? Its not like they're hurding sheep or doing anything productive.
10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for.
Paternity
11. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for?
Fudge Packing or Turd Burgling....I'm sorry, but the boy scouts seems like an excuse for sick old men to put excited young boys in very short shorts.
12. Name a phrase with the word 'Home' in it?
Did you do your home work? No? *SLAP* You made me do that!!
13. Name a game where players loose teeth?
Cock-Blocking. You should never try to mack on some other dude's girl if he's all horny and shit.
14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student's day?
Tell the student she is pregnant with his child.....then CNN gets involved and its just a mess.
15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying?
Cause I effing punched 'em in the mouth!! Bitch needs to bake me some brownies!!
16. Name something found at a Seance?
.......I dunno......a bunch of vegans with daddy issues? Do I look or sound like a hippy to you?
17. Name a bird you wouldn't want to eat?
Your Mom....wouldn't touch that bird with a ten foot harpoon. I thought I told her ass to make me some effing brownies anyway.
18. Name something that gets folded?
Fold you over a chair and spank your naughty ass....that's what I'll do.
19. Name something a person wears even if it has a hole in it.
Crotchless panties....this is too easy.
20. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it?
Your self-respect and dignity. You really should have been sober when you did all that midget porn.......
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