First a gentle reminder. If you experience any of the following:
Easily hurt and/or compromised feelings
Extreme religious and/or political opinions and mentality
Diarrhea of the mouth while suffering the above afflictions
Please do not read my blog.
If you have an aversion to cursing, violence, sex, destruction of property, having a sense of humor, or Article 19 of The Universal Declaration of Human Rights please do not read my blog.
If you dislike or have difficulty understanding satire/sarcasm, just don't even bother. Nobody likes you anyway.
Awesome blog reading discretion has been advised. Don't be mad, Boo.
September 14th, 2008
MySpace asks me....
1. Who's 1 on your top friends? Your Mom....she says "hi"
2. What is your favorite possession? Your Mom's vibrator. She wants me to keep it at my place so you don't find it....ya nosy punk.
3. Do you own a gun? Does a bear shit in the woods? I just wonder cause if I had a gun I'd say that was probably the best time to shoot him.
4. If you could tell your ex something what would you say? I lifted the toilet seat, woman!! What more did you want from me?!!
5. Do you get nervous before a doctors appointment? One word gentlemen...."fingerwave"....
6. What do you think of hotdogs? Why? Did Hotdogs ask about me? Oh my God, I'm so nervous....
7.What's your favorite Christmas song? The one that goes DaDaDaDa, DaDaDaDa, DaDaDaDa...I forget the name
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Battery acid....keeps the bowels lubricated and makes you extremely tolerant to all types of poison....something you have to be careful with when you're a spy.
9. Can you do push-ups? Like....one thousand....you know....over the course of a couple of weeks.
10. Is your bathroom clean? Define "clean".
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My brass Knucks...so keep my name outcha mouth, BIATCH.
12. Do you take painkillers? Just so I don't have to participate in reality
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Women tend to be attracted to my large hanging gut and rotund ass....also I have pretty, pretty princess eyelashes.
14. Do you have A.D.D.? [Attention Deficit Disorder]?...............................what were you saying?
15. What's your name? Spies never reveal their true identity
16. Middle Name(s)? I could go with 'DANGER', but I think I'll stick with 'RISK TOLERANT'
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? I am hungry....please feed me.....you are not very fast.
18. Do you prefer analog or digital clocks? It totally depends on what type of explosives we're using. Digital for C-4, analog for TNT. Silly MySpace.....everyone knows that!!
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink: Beer, Whiskey Sours, and your mom's urine. She's freaky like that.
20. Last movie you watched? Fisty McFisterson Five Finger Fondles Four Fond Phillys. Ahh...cinimax....I love u.
21. Number 1 fear? Heights....no seriously....I would totally kill heights in a fight if I could, but it never shows itself.
22. Current worry? I really wish those Mayans had kept going with that fucking calendar, man. What's another decade or five?
23. Current hate? Haters
24. Favorite place to be? Asleep is a place, right?
25. How did you ring in the New Year? Work...that way I don't have to kiss anybody's dirty mouth.
26. What did you do today? Removed a fecal impaction....applied steri-strips to a gash in the forehead of someone with poor depth perception....argued that mind control does not cause rashes....and handled my business with someone with a VERY low blood sugar....don't worry...I'm a professional.
27. Do you own slippers? Only so I can beat people with them.
28. What shirt are you wearing? Fishnet....what? IT'S STILL HOT OUT, YOU KNOW!
30. Favorite color(s)? Black...the absence of color....like my soul....*barf*
31. Would you be a pirate? It would have to be a Texas pirate.
32. Are you gay? Only in the movies.
33. Do you sing in the shower? Only when I play a gay pirate from Texas in the movies.
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Commies. It was the 80's man. Red Dawn? That's some real shit.
35. Current craving? Ice cream....always.....Ice....cream.....*sigh*
36. Superman, Spiderman, or Batman? The Tick?
37. Best bed sheets as a child? Clean ones
38. Worst injury you've ever had? .......We do not speak of such things on blogs..... I jumped out the back of a moving van, OK?! That's what happened!! Can you just drop it?!!
39. Are you currently in school? Spy School.
40. Who is your most favorite person at the moment? Cookie Monster. I wish all politicians could be as focused as that dude.
41. Who is your loudest friend? The deaf one.
42. Who is your most silent friend? The mute one.
43. Does someone have a crush on you? What am I? A piece of MEAT?!!!
44. Do you wish on shooting stars? I am a grown ass man, you know......I wish on all kinds of shit, not just shooting stars...that is the problem with you, MySpace....you keep thinking simple and the world is so complex! I don't even know why I bother with you sometimes! *slam door*...*open door*....AND STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!!...*slam door*
45.What is your favorite book? How to cook baby seals.....and "The Count of Monte Cristo"
46. What is your favorite candy? Whatchamacallit.....that candy bar....you know....I can't remember the name.
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding? Tainted Love as sung by Beldar.
48. What songs do you want played at your funeral? Soulja Boy...I did so love Supermaning the hos
49. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night? I thought we went over this....all my night's activities run together so pick from 26 and figure it out yourself. I have spaghetti to eat.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I am not sleeping currently. I like cookies.
2003-2008 MySpace.com (sucks balls). All Rights Reserved (to boink your mom)
No comments:
Post a Comment