Anger: It's not just a reason for bad heavy metal songs.

First a gentle reminder. If you experience any of the following:
Easily hurt and/or compromised feelings
Extreme religious and/or political opinions and mentality
Diarrhea of the mouth while suffering the above afflictions
Please do not read my blog.

If you have an aversion to cursing, violence, sex, destruction of property, having a sense of humor, or Article 19 of The Universal Declaration of Human Rights please do not read my blog.

If you dislike or have difficulty understanding satire/sarcasm, just don't even bother. Nobody likes you anyway.

Awesome blog reading discretion has been advised. Don't be mad, Boo.


March 14th, 2010


Nothing I throw at the trash can ever goes in. I know it moves. Damn thing. It knows I have poor depth perception and it mocks my blind ass by moving. The wall beside the trash can is caked with food and coffee grounds and who knows what else because I just decided to start banking shit off the wall rather than pick it up off the floor when I miss.

It's the anger I think. As I get older, I'm not as patient. Not for myself and not for anyone else. Maybe I've never been patient; I should get all the people I ever lived with together and ask them how they ever put up with me. And I'm a know-it-all. That's gotta be annoying.

How can one be impatient with oneself, you ask? Raise your hand if you've ever been trying to remember someone's name or how to spell a word and it just won't come to you and you snap your fingers or smack the side of your head and say (insert explitive)? That's what I mean. Ok.....you can put your hand down. You're reading a blog, dude. I'm not sitting there making sure you're telling the truth about smacking yourself. You really should see a therapist about that. Your Mom said she's worried.

Internet connection. Cue insanity if my internet connection is anything less than stellar. I can barely stand to wait until the coffee is done brewing before I get a cup. God bless the dude who invented the interrupt feature on coffee makers and fuck the dude who stole my idea for Adult Mad Libs. I thought that was a really good idea, and I thought it was all mine. But I recently did a couple of pages of adult Mad Libs; it's not that funny and here's why: It's not funny using adjectives and nouns like cock, shit, ass and horny in adult situations. Adult situations call for language like that (or maybe I just hang around with too many nurses). But when you do regular Mad Libs, you end up with “Last year at summer camp, little Suzy learned how to start a fire using two sticks and some   cock   . Sounds like little Suzy needs a check up at the clinic. If shit is on fire and there's cock involved.......you know.....oh, shut up. That's funny shit, man. Just play some Mad Libs and use words like 'dildo' and 'smegma' and see if you don't laugh just a little.........no? Fine.

Just......get a job, ok..............and put your fucking hand down. Smart ass.