Friday, September 28, 2007
Verbose....it’s like obese....with words....
MySpace asks me:
"Dan...you are so very smart with your brain. How do I make better my word knowing?"
I sigh and pat MySpace on it's fuzzy head and say:
"Actually ascertaining an algorithm to allow beings better boasting and besting of their brethren in cant can cause casual conundrum crackers costly cerebral calamities. Delighting in delectable diction does wonders. Dictionaries, though dull, I daren't debar. Excluding elaborate eloquence in expression would flaunt fretful forgetfulness of my forefather's findings. Fighting to find friends who flee from flatulence could greatly grow your gray matter. Have heed to hold off haughty head horseplay, as I identify increased jeopardy of jealousy justly jumping among unknowing knaves with knives. Knightly, lawful and loud loquacious morality might be missed if no one notices neglect of never organizing oratorical ostentatiousness. While petty petitions to please plug pompous pie-holes quit queuing up, quite a few quick readers write to ream reliable resources of rankling. So in short, stop stepping with saps who speak in sorry syllables, as that sums to a short-change of your speech. Tenaciously tell torrid tales of tyrannical upset and unusual undertakings by very vindictive virile vixens of worriful woe winging it with wonton wealth. Were these winning words to wangle your want? Don't wage war if this X doesn't mark the spot. Go out and smell the xanthein in the xyst, avoiding xanthein, and striving for good xenodochy. Yea, your yearning for verbal yardage should yaw in the years, but now you enjoy the yedding in your youth as of yesteryear. Remember that zoetic zeal zaps zest to the zenith."
Remember kids, reading is fun....so read this again 'cause it took forever to write.
-Dan has a headache (and never wants to see another thesaurus. EVER).
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