Dan's Blog Episode 7: A very interesting answer to a very elementary question.

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Thursday, January 03, 2008

A very interesting answer to a very elementary question.




A friend of mine at work sent an e-mail asking the following question:

It's been said that if you get the answer right... you are considered a psychopath... Are you one?
A girl goes to her Mother's funeral, meets a guy and falls in love, but never gets his name or contact number. Three days later she kills her sister... Why?

I answered thusly:

Ok....everybody knew that the Mother was an abusive alcoholic drug using hooker. What isn't said is the "daughter" held a deep resentment for the "mother" and had slowly been poisoning her with drain-o in the attempt to cash in on the enormous life insurance policy she had taken out on her the year prior. The other "sister" was actually a "brother" that felt as if he were a woman trapped in a man's body. So many, many minimum wage jobs and years later the "brother" settled for going to Mexico for a sex change operation which ended up a catastrophe. Living a life of misery and pain and feeling that the dead "mother" owed him for her poor parenting skills (hooking and child rearing just don't mix) he asked the other sister to split the life insurance money with him, which of course she refused. The "guy" in the story was actually a psychology major at Baylor University completing his thesis entitled "Disastrous Sex Changes and Sibling Relationships: From Hop-Scotch to Botched Crotch". The "brother" hired him to dupe the sister into a false sense of security after he tricked her to fall in love with him so that he could slowly wreck her self-esteem to begin taking money which they would then split to further support their horrible habit of buying Beanie Babies. Also, the death of the "brother/sister" wasn't actually a murder. You heard about that tainted spinach a while back? Yeah, well the "brother" and the sister were sitting down at lunch one afternoon after their "mother" died. The sister was complaining about how bad her salad was tasting and the "brother", having always despised his sister's whiney nature, reached across the table and took a bite to prove that the salad was just fine. It just so happened that the "brother" had been holding the salad fork upright, slamming its handle down on the table to make the point at the moment the tainted spinach took hold of his bowels, causing a horrible spasm which in turn caused him to double sharply in pain and at that point he impaled himself on the salad fork making it seem, for all intents and purposes, that she had murdered her "sister" with said salad fork.

So I guess you could say that.......or........

She killed her sister so there would be another funeral for this dude to go to so she could meet him again so she could get his digits, cause her psychotic ass forgot to do it the first time she met him. Women will stoop to anything.

Elementary, my dear Watson. Keep 'em coming. And please don't call the police.

-Dan Briggs,
Male Nurse/Spy/Private Investigator/Short Order Cook/Pirate/Dog Food Tester

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